What Endo Gave Me (That I Never Expected)
By Jo Barry
Let’s be clear: I wouldn’t wish endometriosis or adenomyosis on anyone. Chronic pain, fatigue, flare-ups, surgeries, hormones that make you feel like an alien has taken you over... yeah, it’s a brutal ride.
But here’s something I never thought I’d say, some good actually came out of it. Would I have chosen this path? No. But has it taught me more than I ever imagined about my body, strength, people, and the kind of woman I want to be? Absolutely.
So, if you’re in the thick of it right now, mid-diagnosis, mid-flare, mid-breakdown in the GP’s carpark, this one’s for you.
1. I Appreciate My Body More Than I Ever
Before endo, I treated my body like something to control. Push through. Shrink. Fix. Now? I listen to it. I respect it. I show up for it like it shows up for me.
When you’ve had years of pain, you learn to cherish the days when you don’t. You learn how incredible it is to feel okay. You stop taking movement, energy, and comfort for granted. You truly learn to appreciate just how amazing your body is, even if a tad broken.
2. I’ve Become Deeply Empathetic
Endo cracked me open in a way I didn’t expect. It made me softer and more tuned in to people’s invisible battles. I am now more aware that many of us walk around with pain that isn’t obvious – whether it’s physical, emotional, or both. When someone cancels plans at the last minute, I don’t judge. When someone says they’re tired, I don’t assume they’re being dramatic. Living with chronic pain made me gentler, and honestly, the world needs more of that right now.
3. I Found Out I’m a Bloody Badass
I never considered myself particularly tough until I had no choice. Getting up after surgery. Sitting through a work meeting while flaring. Advocating for myself in front of doctors who rolled their eyes. Learning to function on days when my body was doing the absolute most. That’s strength. A quiet power comes from enduring something no one else can see. A resilience that sneaks up on you. You don’t notice it at first but one day, you look back and realise, “Holy shit, I did that.” And now? When life throws anything else my way? I know I can handle it.
4. I Learned Who My People Are
Chronic illness is a social sieve. Some people will step up in beautiful, unexpected ways. Some will disappear. Either way, you get clarity. I’ve been overwhelmed by the love that’s shown up. Friends who dropped meals, held my hand post-op, sat with me during bad days, or believed me when I said I wasn’t okay. I also let go of relationships that couldn’t hold space for what I was going through. And you know what? That’s a gift too.You see your people - the real ones. The ones who stick around when things get messy, hard, and boring. That kind of love? It’s everything.
5. I Found Purpose in the Pain
I didn’t plan to start a period wellness brand. I definitely didn’t plan to create a heating pad from scratch (hi rae). But my lived experience, the frustration, the medical trauma, the exhaustion, lit a fire in me. I couldn’t find what I needed, so I built it. I wanted to create better options. I wanted people to feel seen, cared for and comforted - not brushed off with a script and a shrug. Pain gave me purpose, Endo gave me direction, and now I get to turn that pain into something useful for others.
6. I’ve Stopped Apologising for Taking Up Space
When you’ve spent years being dismissed, you eventually learn to take up space louder than ever. You stop downplaying your needs. You stop smiling through pain. You stop making yourself small just to be “easy.” Now? I ask for what I need. I take breaks when I need them. I tell people when I’m struggling. I speak about periods and pelvic pain in boardrooms, bathrooms, and brunch tables without flinching. Because I’ve been quiet, and it didn’t help. And now? I’ve got things to say.
So, If You’re In the Middle of It...
Please know this: yes, it’s hard. Yes, it’s unfair. But no, you don’t have to pretend it’s a gift when it feels like a curse. I promise - that’s not what I’m saying. What I am saying is this: when you’re ready, you might start to notice the ways you’re changing, the strength you’re growing, the compassion you’re deepening, and the people who really love you showing up again and again. And maybe, just maybe, you’ll even fall in love with yourself a little more.
Not despite what you’ve been through but because of it.
Endo took a lot from me. But it gave me a whole new relationship with myself. And that? That’s powerful.
Jo Barry is the founder of rae, a wearable period heat device. With three heat settings and 5+ hours of power, it’s USB-rechargeable, super slimline, and fits into their custom period undies pouch. Through rae and her brand, Scarlet Period, she aims to provide practical relief, spark change in the medical community and foster a greater understanding of women’s health issues.
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